The struggle is real

Hello. I am Sarah and I have Bipolar Disorder. Last night was a bad night. This morning I awoke dreading my shift, but I put on my big girl pants and sucked it up. I got home a bit ago and called my mom. She’s my support system. She encouraged me to call my doctor and get a prescription for the medication I had sampled when I was feeling similar just three weeks ago. It’s ready to pick up at the pharmacy. I have a confession. I could blame the stigma of having a mental illness, but I feel that’s…

I lived to see another day

I’ve half-assed treated my illness for the last 5 years, and I almost got away with it. I take my medications, but I don’t do talk therapy, I don’t belong to any support groups, and I don’t have a support team when shit gets rough. Last night I wanted to kill myself. The most vivid thought was taking the serrated kitchen knife into the bathtub and slashing at myself until I succeeded. Instead, I stayed in my dark room and sang myself song after song until I got sleepy. I tried calling my mom last night, but no luck and…

picture of a scribbled note

David Pt. I

Once upon a time I was a depressed pubescent teen. For those who didn’t know me well, I was friends with all types of crowds and generally a caring and easily amused person. One day on the bus coming back from school, I was sitting with one of my more bitchier girlfriends. Her name was…

An Open Letter to Me :: Danger

Darling, You are a danger to yourself in this whirlwind ridiculousness that you’ve weaved yourself into the last 5 almost 6 years. For the betterment of you, I am going to list all the qualities good and bad about him and maybe for once, the writing on the wall will help you to stop the…

Swinging a Bat

I received some fearless feedback from a good friend today. To quote, “When you say something, it’s like you’re swinging a bat. And though you don’t do so with malice, it’s blunt nonetheless. You’re an acquired taste.”

There she goes again.

I don’t know if he is a true narcissist. I think what he is, is just plain selfish. It would be his rules because that’s what benefited him. It was when I didn’t want to play by the rules, shit would get dicey.

Self-inflicted Wounds

I have a pattern. I get high off being alone until it begins to fade. Then I turn into Chandler from Friends thinking I am going to die alone.

Cruel Intentions

I have a confession. Well, let’s be real, I usually do. I think a lot of people do, in all reality. But eh, just go with me.

Sunshine

My world became too much. It started on Monday. I was at work, and then half way through my shift, I had to leave. I felt mental. So I went home and I cried. I felt the lowest I had in a long time. I called out Tuesday and Wednesday for migraines. I scheduled an…

Time, Use it Wisely?

I am envious of people who can use their time wisely. And maybe, there could be wise time users who are envious of my wasting of time – or, to be kinder to myself, my “I do what I want when I want (when I’m not scheduled for work)” way of time use. Or not.…

Tuesday Tangent

My title would make more sense if I had a post theme where every Tuesday I shared my tangents, but I don’t. I picked it because both words start with T, today happens to be Tuesday, and I have some tangents that have been building up, and maybe lastly, week of the day themes seem…