Sunday Confession

I was reading PostSecret this morning. Seems every so often there is a secret there that could’ve come from me. It didn’t because I’m too lazy to do anything involved with snail mail. I digress.

Today’s secret was a classic, one from a few years or so back. It simply said, “If I don’t want to file something, I shred it…”

I have done that. It’s silly, yet nice knowing at the same time I’m not the only one. Don’t ask why I get that pleasantly surprised feeling when I discover there are people who think or have done what I have done. Maybe I have an enlarged ego.. ::insert shrugging emoji here::

I have been listening to a podcast every night called Lore. Dq: “Lore is a bi-weekly podcast about the history behind scary stories. Sometimes the truth is more frightening than fiction.”

By nature, I am an Atheist. But I sometimes feel had I lived in the time of these historical narratives, maybe I would’ve been a believer. They had no way of explaining any kind of inexplicable activity. There was mystery about the world around them. Even magic. If I want to know about something today, I can research it. I can Google it, I can use my college’s database for scientific and other academic articles, I can find theories and decide which fit my perspective the best.

In my teenage years, I was trying to find my belief system. I thought of Catholicism, a lot of my friends were Catholic. Then I thought and explored Paganism. It made more sense to me since we live in a natural world with the elements, there would be many gods instead of this whole Triune theory. And that there would be balance with the gods like there is with humans. There would be genders. I mean technically the Bible did say man was created in God’s image. Whatever that means.

But I am very careful when discussing my feelings on religion and spirituality in my personal life. If I am talking with my mom, I will say “my difficulty believing in God” and since I do not pray, I will tell people who need it that I am “sending lots of love and good vibes” their way.

I’d be quicker to slam on Trump and GOP bullshit than anything to do with religion. Some atheists are fine to even being proud of their choice. Even downright righteous about it. Put a “Devout Christian” and “Righteous Atheist” in the same room and though they’re arguing different sides of the coin, you’ll see a lot of similarities.

I keep my cards close. Out of my own personal feelings with being an Atheist and not wanting to have that conversation with other people in my life.


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